tales and thoughts of a battling obsessive eater

Something very interesting happened today.

After a night of Peaches Live, which by the way, rocked my socks. Never seen any performances like it. I woke up at a friend’s, and the three of us did the typical morning after of recollecting pieces from the night.

Then, skipping over a few non-me relevant discussions, a woman was brought into the conversation. Some 20 years ago, she had a near-death experience* where she returned to life with an ability to read people and foresee their futures.

“I don’t want my future told. That’d drive me down to crazy lane trying to meet my self-fulfilling prophecies.”

But she never tells people exactly what their future holds. She knows well what dangerous treads that would lead people into. So she tells people enough to help them be on the right track. Good woman.

I met had her before over dinner. Did not exchange any more information than a name and handshake. Then my friend, in bed, was chatting with the psychic over Blackberry. I wanted a test.

“Can you ask her if she could tell anything of me from our brief meet?”

She texted away, and read me out loud the replies.

“Oh, your friend who sat next to you wearing blue?” said the reply.

Was I wearing blue? Trying to remember.. trying to remember.. Yes I was wearing blue.

“hehehehh..”

what does she mean ‘heheheh??’

“She’s a good person. But very stubborn.”

Ok. Apart from my parents, I guess I’m not too bad of a person to people. And yes, very stubborn.

And then I was expecting her to give me some good news on my career path when instead, she delivered a shock of the century that tied in with what’s been written in the dreams burn but in ashes are gold I, II, & III series.

“In love, she fears failures. She chooses very carefully.”

……

Fear. Small word, big meaning.

I thought I wasn’t afraid of anything.

I guess I have one fear now.

No.

Two.

One phobia. Worm phobia. Ridiculous, I know. I need to get over it because I want to explore the wilderness and do things like.. gardening. To walk through wilderness wishing I had 7 eyes to watch over me isn’t too pretty of an image. Trying to garden without being able to dig through soil also sounds pretty stupid.

Anyway. At first it just rung as a confirmation. And then.. I rethought my Fear formula. Fear gets you nowhere. Especially when it is risk of failure you fear. So.. If fear of failures gets you nowhere.. Then.. That means I will get nowhere in.. love?

That is more heartbreaking than getting heartbroken by another person.

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*There’s a pretty profound documentary on near-death experience witnesses by Dr. Raymond Moody here. I came across him in May 2009 a day after my grandfather died. I don’t handle griefs of others very well without getting brought down myself, so google I went to this discovery. I shared the finding to my dad and his siblings to infuse a little drop of relief. Information on Dr. Raymond Moody here.